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Pour Les Petits Animaux

Pour Les Petits Animaux

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Albums > Pour Les Petits Animaux > Lyrics >
Track 6. Cats, notwithstanding

For the dear departed:
Tiger, Modesty, Grendel, Felicity, Prudence, Phealyx, Mandela, Grace
And the present:
Verity, Clemency and Mandu (who appears on the album sleeve, a week old)

Unfortunate people in every nation have houses that are prone to rank infestation
Some people have cockroaches, some people lice, others have termites or myriads of mice
Some people find fleas make them scratch ‘til they’re crazy, or are over-run daily by ravening rats
The ten plagues of Egypt have nothing on them -
but in just the same manner, well, our house has cats

Some they are ginger some they are tabby some they are sleek and some are just scabby
Rex, Abyssinian, Persian and Burmese: most have got tapeworms and all have got fleas
You find muddy pawprints on priceless manuscripts and hairballs sicked up in your underwear drawer
Indiscretions hidden by living room curtains, litter trays overflow on the kitchen floor

Oh cats, notwithstanding their bad habits
I’d find the world that I inhabit, a bleaker place without their company
Oh cats, how I love them and I hate them, I just have to celebrate them
The feline ambiguity

Elderly relatives, visiting clergy ,all may be subject to feline allergy
They’ll flee your house sneezing and coughing and wheezing; maybe they’ll never come back any more
Neighbours and owners of adjacent gardens, you’ll find that their animosity will harden
As cats produces stenches, leak in their leak trenches, poison their petunias, dig up their lawns

Every Friday we go up to the supermarket to stock up on catfood to last us one week
We take a pickup truck and after we park it, we stack it with tins til’ it makes the spring creak
Redundant pit ponies, now cubes set in jelly and called Happywhiskers, Catchunks and Purrée
Only one that they’ll eat is the one that is dearer than that set before them the previous day

In the early morning as we rise up yawning, they bring us such gifts through the good of their hearts
They demonstrate that by the way they have scattered the house with dismembered rodent body parts
On a trip to the bathroom without wearing skippers, a little surprise to make your joy complete!
The head of a mouse or the tail of a shrew, or the entrails of voles on the soles of your feet

If you own race courses you might well like horses, or if you like honey you may well keep bees
Or rabbits that really don’t do much at all except make other rabbits with greatest of ease
Or you may be just liable to keep the odd giable or hamster or small furry thing in a cage
But I will choose cats, I’m a catophile caught in between catomania and abject catrage


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