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Pete playing an outdoor gig

Pour Les Petits Animaux

Pour Les Petits Animaux

Album Sleeves

Albums > Pour Les Petits Animaux > Lyrics >
Track 7. Squirrels

(After just missing a grey one in the car, and wondering whether I should have done; 15th November 2004)

Grey squirrels are bad
Red squirrels are good
If a red one you should see
You must take it home to tea
Brush its bushy tail as it sits on your knee
Red squirrels are good

Red squirrels are good
Grey squirrels are bad
If you meet one do not hide
With subtle words massage its pride
Then lace its nuts with cyanide
Grey squirrels are bad

Grey squirrels are bad
Red squirrels are good
Neat and tidy, up at six
Eat marmalade and weetabix
Found in books by Beatrix
Potter Red squirrels are good

Red squirrels are good
Grey squirrels are bad
If, when driving, one you see
Squash it instantaneously
(even if its ten feet up a tree)
Grey squirrels are bad

Grey squirrels are bad
Red squirrels are good
Never make their parents grieve
No state handouts they receive
Anglican (if they believe)
Red squirrels are good

Red squirrels are good
Grey squirrels are bad
Only rats with furry tails
Sharpen up your fingernails
You must tear out their entrails
Grey squirrels are bad

Grey squirrels are bad
Red squirrels are good
Decent, upright, without fail
From their tufty ears to the tips of their tails
Their basic Englishness prevails
Red squirrels are good

Red squirrels are good
Grey squirrels are bad
Their beady eyes are full of hate
The manners and their accents grate
They come from the United States!
Grey squirrels are bad

Red squirrels are good
Grey squirrels are bad
Mean and lean and full of sin
Take no tonic with their gin
That’s why its RIGHT to do them in
Grey squirrels are bad

 

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