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Track 12. Dance Piggies Dance

This began as an instrumental (after hearing a Mike Harding track where he fingerpicked vigorously to the line ‘see those piggies dance’) but I could not resist adding words; another kiddy favourite.

Walking one evening down by the farmyard
You might say I came there by chance
I stood and I leaned on an old five-barred gate
Just to see the piggies dance

Dance piggies dance…

Other folk gathered there, some of them looking scared
We stood and stared, no-one dared to talk
The ground it was shaking and soon our sides were aching
At the sight of all that pulsating pork
Was it imagination, was it just a dream
Was it apolitical plot?
Somewhere in my head was an old story that I’d read
By George Orwell, or Beatric Pot – ter

Dance Piggies…

One little piggie had four left feet
One little piggie was sick (yeugh)
On little piggie was agistically challenged
That is to say, geriatric
But there was one gate crasher who was a little rasher
He knew that he had gone too far
His knees they were shaking and he only saved his bacon
But leaping on the stage and playing guitar

But one old couple they would not dance
She simply would not take the floor
Until the rhythm got her and she seized him by his trotter
Saying, come on dear, don’t be such a bore!
So he did her bidding and they danced in the midden
But she slithered and she fell down flat (splat)
And as he wiped her eye, he said My my
You made a right person’s ear out of that

The band hogged the stage for four or five hours
After half a dozen oinkores they walked off
Then all the little piglets they were eating crisps and twiglets
Whilst the grown-ups nose-dived in the trough
But there was one little sow who showed she knew just how
She goes on grooving as the others leave her
Just one look at her face, you could see we had a case
Of Saturday Night Swine Fever…

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